Alisha Nutt on Worthy Connections

On this episode of Worthy Connections, Laura Lasher talks with Alisha Nutt, owner of Innerwork Counseling and Consulting, about the “protective patterns” that can quietly shape both our personal relationships and our behavior as leaders. Alisha explains how fear of abandonment, intolerance of uncertainty, and distrust of dependence can manifest as people-pleasing, overplanning, micromanaging, difficulty delegating, and trying to do everything yourself. The conversation explores why simply knowing what you should change often isn't enough—and how developing greater emotional and relational capacity can help leaders move beyond patterns that once protected them but may now be limiting their growth.

Transcript Highlights

Worthy Connections with Laura Lasher
Guest: Alisha Nutt, Innerwork Counseling and Consulting

Laura Lasher: Welcome to Worthy Connections, the podcast where we sit down with people who are building something real—entrepreneurs, brand builders and leaders who've earned their authority the hard way.

I'm Laura Lasher with Worthy Performance Group, and in every episode, we go looking for one thing: a story worth learning from.

We're bringing Alisha in today, and we want to make sure we introduce her to you. Alisha, tell us a little bit about yourself.

Alisha Nutt: I'm a mental health therapist and the owner of a small private practice called Innerwork Counseling and Consulting. I've been in the field for about 10 years and a private practice owner for seven.

I've worked with many different populations, but throughout it all, the center of my work has always been relationships. That's what it always comes back to, and that's primarily where I focus my work nowadays.

I'm a licensed independent mental health therapist, which means I'm able to practice without supervision in the state of Nebraska. I'm also a trauma-informed practitioner, holistic mental health therapist, breathwork facilitator and a 300-hour registered yoga therapist, which allows me to incorporate yoga into my sessions. I've also had training in sound healing and mindfulness, which are other holistic modalities I can bring into my work.

Laura: You have a whole range of certifications and qualifications, but there are some things that really make your work unique. Let's talk about where you see the biggest benefit for your clients, their businesses and their families.

Alisha: My work has always centered on relationships, and the primary focus has been making relationships as safe as possible for people.

Before becoming a therapist, I worked in child welfare for many years. That's actually what led me to becoming a therapist. When I was going into people's homes responding to child abuse, neglect and other situations that brought the state into the home, I found myself doing more therapy than case management.

I would sit down with parents and children and try to facilitate conversations that helped them understand each other better and deal with what was at the core of the problem rather than just what had brought us into their home.

That led me to decide I wanted to become a therapist and do that work on a more permanent basis.

As I became a therapist, I worked with couples, children and individuals, and relationships were something almost everyone brought into the therapy room in one way or another.

My own lived experience has influenced that as well. I'm a very relationship-oriented person, but I also find relationships challenging. I've always been curious about humans, how we relate to each other, our differences and our similarities.

That shaped the trajectory of my work. I became a certified relationship therapist through a specific modality called Imago. One of its premises is that adult relationships can involve unfinished business from childhood. As a result, I became very trauma-informed, and that now affects much of the way I work with people.

Understanding Protective Patterns

Laura: You mentioned something earlier about protective patterns. How do you go about identifying and working with those patterns?

Alisha: I currently work with individuals as well as couples, and often they're people in leadership positions—entrepreneurs, CEOs and other leaders.

They may understand intellectually what they need to do. A leader might say, “I know I need to delegate more. I know I'm taking too much on.” But even though they know that, they're unable to turn the logic into execution.

The same thing happens with couples. They may be able to tell me their attachment styles. They know exactly what they're arguing about and what's happening, but they continue defaulting to the same behaviors and having the same arguments over and over.

I help them look beyond the presenting problem or surface complaint and ask: What is the protective pattern that may actually be serving this person in some capacity?

Often, protective patterns involve behaviors we learned when connection was potentially on the line.

Fear of abandonment is one example. In a relationship, fear of abandonment might manifest as overfunctioning, people-pleasing or silencing yourself because you fear that if you speak up or cause too much trouble, your partner could leave.

In a leadership capacity, that same fear could cause someone to think, “If I implement this rule or make this decision, I could lose employees.”

They may avoid making business decisions that would actually be better for the organization because that fear of abandonment is showing up in the workplace just as it does at home.

Another pattern I see frequently is intolerance of uncertainty.

At home, someone might be perceived as controlling. Their children or spouse might feel they're trying to control everything because they overplan, have a specific way they want things done or struggle with delegating.

But underneath that can be a lack of predictability. There's a fear that if things don't go a certain way, they'll be the person who has to handle the consequences, and it will overwhelm their capacity.

The same pattern can appear in the workplace. They struggle to delegate or they micromanage because there's a fear that if something isn't done correctly, something bad will happen.

The same pattern can show up in different places and hold different meanings.

When a Strength Becomes a Limitation

Laura: Can those patterns inhibit someone's success? Maybe they've reached a certain plateau and want to get to the next level, but something is keeping them stuck.

Alisha: Absolutely.

Another protective pattern is distrust of dependence. That pattern can serve someone very well when they're starting a business. They set everything up exactly the way they want. They handle everything. They control how everything goes.

And that can lead to a certain level of success.

But with success, demands increase. As you grow, more is expected of the business. You have more employees, more customers and simply more things the business requires from you.

If that person can't recognize the pattern and identify what they need to develop within themselves so they feel safe enough to depend on other people, they can begin to struggle.

Because they're afraid to depend upon others, they control everything and don't delegate. Eventually they're overwhelmed and taking on more than they can handle.

As a result, the business isn't able to expand in the way that it otherwise could.

That's where we may begin working on emotional capacity and relational capacity. We work on increasing someone's ability to trust others by exploring past experiences and helping them feel safe internally.

We may also work on cognitive flexibility. People can fall into thinking traps such as catastrophizing or automatically expecting the worst-case scenario, which keeps them stuck in those patterns.

Ultimately, we're asking: What capacity does this person need to build so they can free themselves from the purpose this protective pattern is serving?

Who Alisha Works With

Laura: Who would you describe as your ideal client? Where do you feel you do your best work?

Alisha: My ideal client is likely a leader, CEO or someone in another high-functioning position where life is placing certain demands on them that require greater capacity. They need to adjust to those demands.

Relationships are the other major area where I thrive.

That's partly because of my professional training but also because of my lived experience. I've been an entrepreneur for seven years, and I've been through a lot. I've seen my own protective patterns show up in business as well as in relationships. I'm doing the work, too.

I think that's where my superpower lies. I'm able to integrate my lived experience with my professional training.

Clients often find me to be compassionate but also competent. I identify as a “wounded healer,” meaning that I'm able to bring what I've been through into the therapy room.

That can be beneficial because clients are sitting alongside somebody who has experienced some of what they've experienced. I may have more expertise because of my professional training and where I am in my own healing journey, but I'm able to give that back to people and help them grow in many of the same ways that I'm continuing to grow.

Laura: This has been great. How can people learn more about you or get in touch?

Alisha: The best place to start is my website. There's an option there to book a consultation or send me a message.

I'm also on LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook. On Instagram, you can find Innerwork Omaha, and on Facebook, Innerwork Counseling and Consulting.

Laura: Thank you for joining us. These are exactly the kinds of worthy connections we want people to make, particularly leaders, CEOs and executives who are trying to reach that next level or find greater balance in their lives.

Alisha, we appreciate your time today, and we look forward to having you back.

Alisha: Thank you. I appreciate you having me.